Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

What measures are shipping companies taking to navigate around conflict zones like the Red Sea and Black Sea?

I have a reading level above third grade

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I don’t buy bullshit

Do narcissists love their children?

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

When a narcissist mad at their new supply, do they take it out on the old supply?

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t cotton to rapists

I know who the president of Turkey really is

What are you struggling with in your life? What would you like to have instead?

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

How likely is it to make a living out of being a window cleaner in a Nordic country?

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

Is it true that in 2028 there will be a new AIDS variant that will wipe out all the LBGTQ+ people?

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

Is it possible for the AfD to ever win the chancellorship in Germany?

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

You found a love potion, and your friend tried to use it on an attractive popular girl, but he accidentally dropped it on the neighbors dog. Now the dog won't stop following him. How would you help him?

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

How do you take your erotic photos and how do you choose the poses?

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

Why is my ex mad I moved on when he dumped me?

I have complete contempt for fakery

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

What does it mean when we dream about demons, ghosts, monsters, etc.?

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

What do you think about Matt Gatz as an attorney general?

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I can read

I have complete contempt for traitorism

The International Boxing Association said that Khelif and Lin competing in Paris Olympics were disqualified from the tournament for testing positive for XY chromosomes which give an unfair advantage in the women’s division. What do you think?

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

What blowjob techniques do you use for your man to cum inside your mouth?

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

What are some of the differences between the Democratic and Republican parties? What policies does each party advocate for? What groups do these parties usually represent?

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I see through liars

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I understand how hurricane paths work

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I actually pay taxes

I can count

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability